mamrie:

Beth… Beth, his shoes are different colors. He’s wearing one brown shoe and one black shoe, honey. Its not like socks. Socks would be okay. Its his shoes. His SHOES.

He’s not even wearing socks.

Also his gloves. He’s wearing a blue one and a yellow one on different hands, Beth. I know. I know he’s unique. I know he’s a free spirit. I know. No he IS sweet. I know he’s good to you. You don’t have to tell me.

He’s wearing a potted plant as a hat, Beth. I know. Yes, but are you SURE its a choice? Because it might have just fallen out of a window and landed there. He might be brain damaged. Beth… we all think your boyfriend has brain damage.

That sounded mean. I know. No. No, hon, its not just the shoes or the gloves or the plant hat. Its not. No.

Those are the only clothes he’s wearing, Beth, and he doesn’t seem to be a person at all. More like just a… red sphere. You’re dating a naked red ball who has likely suffered serious head trauma.

We think its time to stop meeting guys online, Beth.

UGH, this destroyed me.

This made me cry.